Happy Birthday Baby Summer!

Birthdays are suppose to be happy, and Summer had a great birthday, but why was (and am) I so depressed! Who knew having your baby turn 1 could be so hard on a mom! The party was on Saturday at 1:00, Summer had a blast, she liked all the people, she loved the cake and made a wonderful mess, she sorta liked the gifts, she liked seeing Ana again, her little friend, and she liked the nap afterward. For me this party meant my baby is no longer a baby, and I have been so sad. On Saturday night I was really depressed so Kris took Summer upstairs to play and put her to bed and I went to bed myself around 8:30. I wish I could control my emotions better, I was pretty mean to Kris, and all I really wanted was time to sleep and forget I had just lost my baby to a birthday. I apologized later to Kris for being such a bitch, maybe it was PMS, how about I just blame it on that! On Sunday we went to the mall to get professional photos, and would you believe I didn't like any of them, well not enough to pay the outrageous prices holy cow! I take so many pictures I am very picky now, but I did end up buying a collage of 12 pictures of her eating cake, it will be a nice memory but what a waste of a Sunday afternoon. Last night we went to Denny's for dinner, Summer was such a cutie as always, we bought her the little rocket cup with a straw and put milk in it, she does so good with the straw and the cup was cute. I ordered her the chicken nuggets, cheese sticks and fruit, all she really ate was the fruit and 3 of my french fries, I guess she isn't into fried foods yet which is a good thing. I got her on video making shhhhhhh noises, she kept getting loud and we would go shhhh and she would do it back, it was really cute and it did get her to be quiet, not that anyone in the Denny's actually cared, she wasn't probably as loud as we thought she was. This morning was another exciting stressful moment, Summer had her 1 year checkup, she passed with flying colors, she is healthy and doing everything she should be plus some. She weighs a nice 23.12 pounds, I had her at 24 on the home scale - very close indeed, and she is 31 1/4 inches long, longer than I measured her at home. Her head is 46 1/2 centimeters. She is in the 85% for her head, about 85% for her weight and off the charts for her height. I didn't realize she was so tall, I wonder where she gets that from? Then we had to get shots, 3 icky shots, we are delaying the MMR, and the doctor asked why, I said because we want to wait a year, she said ok ... no arguments from her which kinda surprised me. No MMR still meant three pokes in the meaty thighs. First poke - right leg, no reaction, second poke - left leg, upsetting death cry, third poke - left leg, was probably covered by the second upsetting death cry poke. She bounced back quickly, better than I expected, but only to be taken over to the lab to draw blood. Sitting on daddy's lap, two techs holding her arm and trying to find little veins, pushing in the needle, having to search and dig for the vein, uh I shutter recalling the horrid event, but they were as quick as they cool be, they got the blood they needed to test her iron levels and she cried another sad upsetting death cry, but she again recovered quickly and we left the hospital as fast as we possibly could, 2 parents scarred for life, one little girl still in shock and sobbing every other breath. She fell asleep as soon as she fell into the car seat and still quietly sobbed between breaths while sleeping. I also asked the doctor about vitamins because someone had mentioned them and they said nah, she should be getting everything she needs from the food, unless her iron is low she will get drops. We go back in 6 months so that means we have 6 months to recover from the horrible experience today. If you want to see some pictures, flickr, lots of pictures on flickr! I will try to upload the Denny's video tonight or tomorrow. Thanks for reading.