Super Random Stuff

Right now I am eating dill pickles. What is it about pickles and being pregnant? And you know what, I will probably eat ice cream later, but not while I am eating these dill pickles. Something about my sour evening stomach and the vinegar in the pickles, well you wouldn't think it would be a good mix but it helps somehow. On that note I am actually feeling somewhat better. I am still sick but I think *hope* it is going away.

I had two more baby dreams. I had a little boy a few nights ago. I don't remember much about the dream because it was early in the night but it was a good dream. Early this morning I dreampt I had a little girl, born on June 25th and we named her June. She was fine, or healthy, which would be impossible considering I am not due until November, but it was also a happy dream.

There a self portrait of my 14 week belly. I kept holding it on, not on purpose, I have no clue why, so I had to take a few shots. Not to mention how hard it is to get the angle right using a cell phone. You get the idea, I have a belly.

Overall today was a spectacular day. We bought Summer a pool, I took her to see if she wants to play soccer this summer, she impressed the heck out of me! I can't believe how well she listened, how well she kicked the ball, how she even tried to put her foot on it to stop it, how much fun she had. I am still amazed and just in awe over how much better she did compared to the last class she took several months ago. I signed her up and she starts in June - I cannot wait.

She also got to swim in her pool today, she loved it. At first the water was freezing and she still got in. One the second round (once the sun went down) I added warm water and I bet she stayed in about an hour. She isn't scared to get her face wet either. We bought her a new "American" bathing suit, quite American too, right up that butt. My child cannot wear a one piece. She must have a long torso or something because all the one pieces just ride up.

Kris also grilled us lunch, steaks, burgers, broccoli, and I bought potato salad to go with - it was delicious. I am getting my appetite back and I can eat a bit more which makes me happy, I like to eat. Which also means I need to be careful now and stop the Oreos and Doritos and start munching on carrots. I am not giving up my Lucky Charms tho, not yet anyway!

Still Waiting

I hate to be one of those people who wait for time to pass, but lately I am that person. April passed and I was happy it was over. Now I am waiting for May to pass. I should be enjoying each second, minute, hour, day, but I aint. Aint, I love that word. I am still so sick and it still sucks. I have better days and a few hours when I think maybe this is the end of the annoying morning sickness, but it isn't. Then I have moments where I think I will surely miscarry, but I haven't yet. I went to the gym on Monday and I had a lot of fun dancing around in the zumba class but of course afterward I dreaded what might happen because of it. What happened was that I am sore, nothing else, no cramping, no bleeding, no miscarriage. I keep telling people I should be better in two more weeks, but it seems like two more weeks has come and gone. I want to enjoy the pregnancy, not be one of those who complain, but honestly so far it has sucked. I had to give more blood this past Monday, for more testing, the week before that I gave blood twice. I don't mind giving blood, I do mind the ugly bruises on the inside of my arms. Oh and don't forget tearing the tape off, along with a bunch of hair. I am not normally a complainer but it is so hard when you have been sick for almost 2 months. A little voice in the back of my head keeps saying, what if I am not better in 2 weeks, what if this horrible feeling lasts the entire pregnancy, then what? I honestly don't know what I will do if that happens, I am almost crazy as it is!

Two nights ago I had my first baby dream. I dreamed I was delivering a baby, Kris was there to catch it, it came out head first, face up, a girl, right out onto the large diaper Kris was holding. She was way too small, a pound or two, but she was ok, cute, eyes open. Kris wrapped the diaper up to her neck and hugged her. It was a strange but reassuring dream. I think she had blonde hair, and it was real long, like the length a 2 year old would have, but by then I had drifted into being somewhat awake so that part doesn't really count. I didn't want to wake up but I have no control of that.

And in other news ... Summer is addicted to video games. Poor thing wants to play online games so bad, the only thing preventing her is skill; she must first master the ability to read, and she has to learn how to master two button combos, like pushing over and jumping at the same time. I really don't blame her for the addiction, look at her parents, it was bound to happen. I told her she was going to have a nerd for a boyfriend. Not that I will let her have a boyfriend. If only I could find a game that isn't such a baby game, one that actually teaches her that she enjoys. I am still looking.

Oh - and I am very stressed about her upcoming birthday. Should I have it here or there, what theme should she do, should I have it during the week or on the weekend, how much should I spend, should we buy her anything, does she even care? I called one place that sends a limo to the child's house and takes her and 10 friends to the party. She doesn't know what a limo is and I have never been in a limo so we won't be doing that party. I found another place that does pony grooming and riding and a BBQ's but how hot will it be in July, probably too hot to have a party outside. I think we might just have a party at the bouncy house again, why not, it was nice last year, it is indoors, cool, there is room for a lot of kids and parents, and it was fun. To be continued.

I love fresh food!

I love to garden, it is easy, it works, it taste good. Last year I started my first garden box. I went to Lowes and bought 4 boards, nailed them together to make a box, bought that liner thing to keep out the grass, bought a bunch of dirt and planted tomatoes, strawberries, okra, and bell peppers. Everything produced but I learned a lesson, tomatoes spread and tried to take over the bed so this year I have those things to help them go up instead of all over. This year I also tried a few more things, squash, beans, onions. So far everything seems to be going great except the squash, these plants also spread and my spaghetti squash plant is trying to take over. I might rip it out but for now I am keeping an eye on it because it is showing promising flowers. So far we have already pulled green beans off the scrawniest plant and tons of strawberries. I see the tomatoes will probably be next, and maybe the yellow squash next. Who knew stuff would grow in Las Vegas? Of course we haven't hit the heat yet.

This is my garden bed, isn't it pretty? We painted the wood a light green too. I unknowingly put it between the sprinklers, the automatic ones, so I never have to actually water it!

Tomatoes ...

Green Beans, I cannot believe that plant actually produced green beans, it is so small!

Yellow Squash, looking good!

Summer actually ate one of those green beans raw too, she said it was ok.

Strawberries.

Onions ... which are suppose to compliment strawberries and the reason I bough them.

More tomatoes, I bought like 8 different kinds ... don't ask me why.

More tomatoes.

The annoying spaghetti squash, hopefully it calms down some.

I like having a garden, it makes me feel like maybe I could survive in the wild...

Wild Wild Jess!

True or False: Summer

True or False time, see if you know the answers!

Does Summer like vegetables? This one is true, she is a great little eater, her favorite vegetable is probably the pea but she also likes carrots, green beans, asparagus (the tips), spinach, broccoli, cauliflower, and squash. She has not developed a taste for brussel sprouts yet.

Does Summer still take naps? This is False, she quit napping about 6 months ago. She use to sleep 10 hours and take a 2 hour nap. Now she sleeps 11 hours with no nap. Well sometimes she will fall asleep in the afternoon but it is pretty rare. She does fine without her naps, she is not cranky or overly tired at night so I am ok with it.

Does Summer drink a lot of water? Yes this is True, thankfully she normally asks to drink water over anything else, well over milk I guess because I don't keep juice in the house. I am lucky that she likes water as much as she does because I really like it too.

Is Summer scared of people in costumes? This one is False, bring on the Easter Bunny, Santa Clause, fake Dora's, or whoever else might be in a costume and she is happily hugging and loving on them. I have no idea why, I guess she is just one of those kids.

Does Summer like to pose for pictures? Well this one depends, I guess True because if I am taking a picture of something else she will ask me to take a picture of her and if the theme is her she is good for about 5-10 minutes but that is all.

Does Summer like going to bed? True! She has no issues going to bed at night. When 8:00 hits the clock she happily wanders up to her room (with one of us) and falls almost instantly asleep. And she stays asleep all night! Getting her to go pee before bed and brush her teeth, now that is a different story.

Does Summer play on the computer? True, she has several games set up on a computer upstairs, she knows how to get to her games (teaching games) and she can easily spend 30 minutes playing and learning. Since her dad and I are known for our own computer game addictions, I see this as being very normal for her.

Does Summer want to cut her hair short? False, Unfortunately Summer wants to keep her hair long, even though she constantly brushes the strands off her face. When her fingernails are long it results in scratches so we try to keep her nails cut short. I think that also helps her from biting her nails, a bad habit I know I had growing up.

Is Summer ready for a brother or sister? So True, she is excited and can't wait. She happily pats, rubs, and kisses my tummy often and one time even sang the baby a little song.

It's a girl!

Maybe anyway. Of course I am only 12 weeks and it is really too early to tell but let me tell you about my awesome appointment today. This appointment was with the Center for Maternal-Fetal Medicine, a clinic off base that specializes in high risk patients, like myself, because I am over 35. I talked to a genetic counselor and got a 2D (and 3 or 4D) ultrasound. Because I am so old now the risk of having a baby with issues is higher. The 2D ultrasound was looking specifically for Down Syndrome. By measuring a bone in the nose and a fluid pocket in the neck, the doctor is able to tell your odds of having a baby with this symptom.

First let me just say that I was scared out of my mind. Not because I was at a high risk clinic but because I was going to find out if I was, or am, still pregnant. When they took my vitals my blood pressure was 117/75 or something low and awesome, but my heart rate was 98. It is not normally so high, well in fact it is normally that high when I have my vitals checked. So back to the ultrasound ...

There was a baby in there and its little heart was beating at 161. Summer's heart beat was often 161 too. The tech easily spent 20-30 minutes on her ultrasound, taking measurements, showing me arms, legs, and other things I didn't recognize. The baby was asleep for most of the scan but after a few pokes it woke up and adjusted so the tech could get a good reading on that neck fluid sack area. She then gave me 3 photos and said she would be back, the doctor may or may not come in.

What does that mean, he may or may not come in. Why did she say that, did she see something wrong. Was the sack that big. Does the doctor need to come verify. As I started to get all worked up I told myself to calm down because I have done this to myself before and it ended up being nothing, which was the case today.

The doctor came in and he was extremely nice (and good looking too!) Not that he has to look good but I had this one doctor that was a bit scary, not that matters, I just felt really comfortable while he explained all his credentials, he told me how long he has been doing this kind of work, and he said a bunch of more things but I don't remember what they were. What I do remember him saying was that everything looked good and he asked about my miscarriages. I might have more blood working depending on what I had in the past, blood work results that I hope are being faxed over to him today. He seemed so nice and acts like he really cares if I have this baby, which was really nice. Then he told me he was going to do something fun (with the ultrasound machine) and I said, what tell me the sex? He said that unless the baby was in optimal position it was really hard to see but ... and here's the girl part, he said based on the leg and hips it looked like a girl. Of course that isn't certain and who knows how good he really is to be able to tell that but the last time I was pregnant with Summer the doctor told me during a very early ultrasound that the baby was obviously a girl because she had a brain - he ended up being right too!
Anyway, it might be a girl, or it might not, the fact is I am still pregnant and this doctor is going to follow up with my blood work to make sure I don't have some strange condition that made my miscarry and caused me to have high blood pressure with Summer.

Oh, and he said that based on that fluid in the neck sack area the doctor is 75% sure the baby does not have Down's. The blood test I did after the ultrasound will confirm the other 20-24% when it comes in.

I have my big ultrasound scheduled for the 5th of July.

Today I am wearing maternity clothes for the first time, trying to drink more water, hoping the base hospital sends the doctor the test results from all my past testing, and now I am going to take my beautiful princess to the park.

Oh, here are one of the photos too!

Losing Weight

Are you overweight? No matter if you are or not, you probably think you are. I am one of those people who always thinks I need to lose weight. Not in a dangerous way, I think it, I just don't ever do much about it. Not much weight either, just like 10-20 pounds. Since I have been trying to get pregnant for the past 2+ years I remember thinking if I got pregnant I wouldn't have to worry about losing weight. If I did get pregnant I could just eat what I wanted and be happy. That was before I joined a gym and actually lost those 10 pounds that I thought made me fat. March 2011 I reached my ideal goal of losing those last 10 annoying hard to lose pounds. I was looking forward to wearing a bikini and going to the pool. I was looking forward to shopping for summer clothes. I was looking forward to staying in shape and possibly teaching a class at the gym. Then I found out I was pregnant.
Of course I was happy, I mean it took forever to get pregnant and I had given up. I am 35, getting to old to have a baby and just didn't figure I would be a mother of 2. But I will admit that just having reached my weight goal and finding out I was pregnant was a bit of a sting. I didn't think the same as I had before, I don't want to eat whatever I want, I don't want to forget about how hard I worked to lose the weight and how I was going to get fat. I want to be a fit pregnant mom, I want to eat healthy. Of course that hasn't happened either! I blame morning sickness and the fact that I can barely eat anything nor can I stand the taste of water. Hopefully it goes away, I keep telling everyone it will, it better. In two more weeks I want to be back at the gym, taking it easy but still going, eating healthier, drinking water, taking my vitamins that I just can't seem to swallow anymore.
I have had two people tell me it looks like I have lost weight. I must be losing it somewhere and gaining it all in my stomach. I can't fit in my pants but I haven't gained weight so it must be reposition itself. My loving husband bought me my first maternity pants for mother's day, they are so comfy, I really needed them. I also bough myself some summer dresses thinking I should be able to wear and hide the belly in those.
Anyway, I am still pregnant today and I guess I may stay pregnant and I don't want to be one of those people that thinks just because I am pregnant I can eat whatever, gain all the weight I want, quit working out ... I mean I have quit working out and I am not eating healthy but I want to go back to how it was, I want for this morning all day sickness to be gone so I can get back on with my life. Just because I am pregnant and old doesn't mean I shouldn't be able to be normal. I kinda feel like maybe my body has put itself on bed rest, maybe for a reason, or maybe I am just not one of the lucky ones who can function normally in the first trimester. Well whatever the reason, I hope it goes away soon. I am ready to start functioning again. At least I haven't gained a bunch of weight I guess.

My c-section trauma

Every surgery has risks. To say that a c-section is an easy surgery would not be the truth. Just because so many women are getting c-sections doesn't mean the risk and terrors aren't there. This is not just another c-section story, this story is mine. I do not want to scare anyone with my tale, sometimes c-sections are unavoidable, but if you think of a c-section as just another normal procedure, maybe this will make you think again.

In my case the c-section was unavoidable. Of course I wanted a vaginal birth, don't most women? Since my daughter was breach and the cord was prolapsed and my water broke, there wasn't much else they could do except quickly delivery my baby girl. One of the good things about it being such a quick emergency was that I didn't have the pre-surgery jitters. Before I really knew what was happening they had my IV in, my catheter in, I signed a bunch of paperwork, and we were being whisked away to an operating room. To think I never even researched what it meant to have a prolapsed cord until now?

What is a cord prolapse?

Cord Prolapse also called an Umbilical Cord Prolapse - or UCP - is a very rare obstetrical emergency which can result in a birth injury or worse.

It is when your baby's umbilical cord descends alongside - or before - his head (or his bottom or feet if breech). A cord prolapse can be life threatening to your baby since blood flow - and therefore oxygen - through his umbilical cord is usually compromised due to cord compression.

Yet keep in mind that a cord prolapse is very rare and occurs in 0.14 to 0.62 percent of all births. In a study performed at the John Radcliffe Hospital between January 1984 and December 1992, the incidence of cord prolapse was 1 in 426 births or .23%.

I guess this is a very rare thing, which probably explains why I was in the operating room so quick.

I remember being wheeled into the operating room, the very brightly lit, yet somehow very cold, operating room. It seemed like there were 10 people in the room working on this and that. I had to change beds and sit up while a student attempted a spinal block. I don't remember the stick really hurting that bad. After two failed sticks the actual doctor got it in. It seems like I always get stuck with the students and I try not to complain. I goo laid out, people were busy all around me. I was covered with blankets, my legs had air things on them that massages so I don't end up getting a deadly blood clot. I had an air mask over my face. There was a lady nurse near my head asking how I am doing. I think I am doing ok considering. Kris comes into the room, they tell me they are about to start, I tell them I am not numb yet. I tell them again I am not yet numb but apparently they already cut so I guess I was numb after all. Being cut and not being numb is a fear of mine. Kris was holding my hand, the nurse at my head asked me to take deep breaths. I asked Kris, "am I taking deep breaths?" because I honestly can't really tell. I just want it to be over and it seems like it took forever! I feel the pressure but I don't remember it hurting, Kris asked me if I heard the baby, I don't, then I do, then I feel relieved. I see a little scrunched face peeking out of blankets and a hat and then she is gone, Kris is gone and I am still laying there for what seemed like forever while they finish putting me back together. Then I start to shake uncontrollably. Apparently this is normal, but quite terrifying. I can't stop shaking, I want them to hurry up and finish, I have no idea how much the baby weighed, no one is really talking to me and I can't stop shaking. I don't know how long it took to finish but it seemed like forever. I don't know how long I shook but it hurt. After they finished for what seemed like an hour I was rolled to a recovery area, alone. I wish I could have slept but this was around 8:30 in the morning and I was not tired. I laid in the recovery room shaking, listening to the blood pressure monitors beeping alarms. A nurse would come over and tell me to relax, ask me if I could feel my legs. I guess they would put something in my IV but nothing stopped the shaking. Shaking. If I had to pick the worse thing about the entire procedure it would have to be the uncontrollably shaking. Next would be the fear that my blood pressure was going to cause me to stroke out. Of course now that I think back I realize they have medication to prevent that but I was still about to have a panic attack thinking about it.

So my morning had started out normal until my water broke, now a few hours later I found myself laying in a recovery room, shaking, no longer pregnant, no clue where my husband and baby were, not even sure if my baby was ok, no idea how much she weighed or how tall she was. I didn't know how long it would take me to recover, I didn't think I would ever stop shaking, and I was quite certain my blood pressure was going to kill me.

But as they say, time heals. I don't know how long I was there but by the time they wheeled me into the room it was still sometime in the morning. I delivered at 8:11 so it couldn't have been more than a few hours. When I entered the room I saw Kris holding our baby, looking at it like he couldn't believe it. They hooked me up to a bunch of contraptions and left. We were alone. I finally found out how big Summer was, 7 pounds, 11 ounces, and how tall, 18.5 inches. I finally got to hold her and look at her for the first time. I finally got to take off her little hat and see that she had light brown/blonde hair. I got to smell her, kiss her, and think about how wild it was that this little thing came out of my body. I used my phone to take pictures of her and sent it to all of my friends and family. I called my mom. After all of the trauma I had gone through I now felt ok. I mean I wasn't all better, I was still healing from being cut open, still worried about my high blood pressure, dealing with a catheter, I was hooked up to IVs, annoyed at the leg massages, trying to blow into the plastic ball thing, bleeding, wearing a hospital gown, but all that didn't seem as bad.

I still remember the fear, the shaking, and the joys but time did eventually heal me. It all worked out for the best. While my c-section was necessary and while they are commonly practiced, it was still a very scary and traumatic experience for me. Of course it was worth it and if I have to do it again I will, but I sure hope I don't have to.