Still Waiting

I hate to be one of those people who wait for time to pass, but lately I am that person. April passed and I was happy it was over. Now I am waiting for May to pass. I should be enjoying each second, minute, hour, day, but I aint. Aint, I love that word. I am still so sick and it still sucks. I have better days and a few hours when I think maybe this is the end of the annoying morning sickness, but it isn't. Then I have moments where I think I will surely miscarry, but I haven't yet. I went to the gym on Monday and I had a lot of fun dancing around in the zumba class but of course afterward I dreaded what might happen because of it. What happened was that I am sore, nothing else, no cramping, no bleeding, no miscarriage. I keep telling people I should be better in two more weeks, but it seems like two more weeks has come and gone. I want to enjoy the pregnancy, not be one of those who complain, but honestly so far it has sucked. I had to give more blood this past Monday, for more testing, the week before that I gave blood twice. I don't mind giving blood, I do mind the ugly bruises on the inside of my arms. Oh and don't forget tearing the tape off, along with a bunch of hair. I am not normally a complainer but it is so hard when you have been sick for almost 2 months. A little voice in the back of my head keeps saying, what if I am not better in 2 weeks, what if this horrible feeling lasts the entire pregnancy, then what? I honestly don't know what I will do if that happens, I am almost crazy as it is!

Two nights ago I had my first baby dream. I dreamed I was delivering a baby, Kris was there to catch it, it came out head first, face up, a girl, right out onto the large diaper Kris was holding. She was way too small, a pound or two, but she was ok, cute, eyes open. Kris wrapped the diaper up to her neck and hugged her. It was a strange but reassuring dream. I think she had blonde hair, and it was real long, like the length a 2 year old would have, but by then I had drifted into being somewhat awake so that part doesn't really count. I didn't want to wake up but I have no control of that.

And in other news ... Summer is addicted to video games. Poor thing wants to play online games so bad, the only thing preventing her is skill; she must first master the ability to read, and she has to learn how to master two button combos, like pushing over and jumping at the same time. I really don't blame her for the addiction, look at her parents, it was bound to happen. I told her she was going to have a nerd for a boyfriend. Not that I will let her have a boyfriend. If only I could find a game that isn't such a baby game, one that actually teaches her that she enjoys. I am still looking.

Oh - and I am very stressed about her upcoming birthday. Should I have it here or there, what theme should she do, should I have it during the week or on the weekend, how much should I spend, should we buy her anything, does she even care? I called one place that sends a limo to the child's house and takes her and 10 friends to the party. She doesn't know what a limo is and I have never been in a limo so we won't be doing that party. I found another place that does pony grooming and riding and a BBQ's but how hot will it be in July, probably too hot to have a party outside. I think we might just have a party at the bouncy house again, why not, it was nice last year, it is indoors, cool, there is room for a lot of kids and parents, and it was fun. To be continued.