Stay at Home Mom

I would love to say that transitioning from a full time working mom to a full time stay at home mommy was an easy transition but that would be a lie. Here I am a year and a half later doing something I never imagined, something I never thought I wanted, something I never thought was possible, and it wasn't easy. Prior to October 2009 I had worked since I was 17. I loved working, I loved making money, I loved having responsibilities. I was an excellent employee, I gave the companies I worked for everything I had. I helped the employees I worked with. There was rarely a day I didn't want to go to work. When I became pregnant with Summer there was never a doubt that I would go back to work. Work was all I knew, it was me. I was successful, I had a job most people never even dreamed about because it was so unreal. I was doing something I loved, helping a company succeed, helping employees wherever I could. Having a baby just meant that my life after work was going to be crazy, almost as crazy as my job.
After 5 years with my company I found myself laid off in the mists of one of the worse economical conditions in my lifetime. My company decided to relocate out of state and I had to find a new job. Kris was currently staying at home taking care of Summer while enjoying a small military retirement. I was the one who brought the money into our home. Even with unemployment rates at their worse, I didn't think I would have any problem finding a new job. Within 2 weeks of searching and submitting resumes I had an interview. It was a promising position, one I did not really want because of location but one I was certain would be mind. I never got a second call. I couldn't believe they didn't call me back. After sending out at least 100 more resumes during the last month with my company I was starting to get discouraged. I was making good money and realized that I wasn't going to be as lucky with another job.
In October 2009 I found myself at home with my husband and daughter. What do we do now? I had a severance and a savings and didn't really need to worry for at least 6 months but I didn't want to have to live on it. We lived life as normal as we possible could, we spent money like we always had assuming I would eventually find a job. For the first time ever I found myself in a position that made no sense. I had no idea what I should do with myself. Right after I left work I started teaching a mommy and me dance class. This occupied an hour of my time each week and allowed Summer to go to a free dance class. She already had 6 months worth of lessons and had no problems adjusting to me as her instructor. I still found myself on the verge of a boredom breakdown. Right before leaving my company I created a local Las Vegas mommy group in hopes of making some friends. I can honestly say that it was one of the best things I did, I ended up making several wonderful relationships with other women who to this day are still helping me pass the time and escape the boredom. Before I became a mom and made mommy friends I would say I had no real girlfriends, I only had coworkers.
That six months was a strange time in my life, I registered Summer in several classes at a local recreational center to help pass the time. She ended up taking an art class, gymnastics, dance, karate, soccer, and cheer-leading. The rest of my week was spent hanging out with my new mommy friends, with a regular weekly trip to a bookstore scheduled on the calendar. It took about 6 months for me to really enjoy being a stay at home mom, I now found myself becoming a busy on the go stay at home mom and this was something I could do.
After the six months was up we found ourselves on unemployment and still jobless. Kris decided he better look for a job because we could not afford to live off of his retirement and my unemployment. Kris ended up having an interview, I was certain he would get the job, and he didn't. Then he called a friend who told him he had a job for him only to find out his clearance had expired and he couldn't work there. It was a stressful and confusing three months, to make up the income Kris sold magic cards on eBay. I starting thinking about going into the photography business but knew that would not solve our income, or lack of income, situation. Kris and I always enjoyed shopping and eating out, but during these three months we found ourselves without anything to do together. By July luck struck, and just in time. Kris ended up getting a job that a good friend of ours told him about. It would be the dream job he always wanted.
After we found ourselves back in the saddle I joined a gym with one of my good friends. My new stay at home mom schedule found me teaching dance and Mondays and going to the gym on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays. On Friday I met with other mommy friends at the bookstore. The weekends were spend taking pictures of people who liked my photography. I was busier now that I had ever been. After being a gym rat for 6 months, enjoying zumba classes, belly dancing, sculpt, I finally lost the last 10 pounds that had been holding on since I turned 30. I would have lost it sooner had I actually changed my diet but I was in no rush, I went to the gym because I enjoyed it, not because I felt like I had to go. Summer also liked going to the gym for an hour each day, she would play with her friends and color me a picture.
It took me a long time to figure out how to be the best stay at home mom I could be. I never thought I would quit working. I worry about the gap in my employment. One day I will want to work again, I think, and how hard is it going to be to get a job now. I am fortunate that we can afford to have me stay home and raise our daughter, even better since it looks like we will be having another. I admit I miss working. I was good at my job, I was respected, I knew what I was doing, people looked to me for help. I made great money, I had good benefits. Working was rewarding, I got bonuses and awards. Now if I do a good job raising my daughter no one really notices unless I tell them. If the house is clean - it is to be expected. The thing that helps me the most is hearing my daughter tell me she loves me, and knowing how much I am impacting her life. When I take her to a class I am giving her opportunities. When I feed her a healthy lunch and make her drink water instead of juice I know that I am providing better for her than someone else might. I know that by being there for her I can help make her be the best little girl she can be. I am not perfect and she doesn't expect me to be, I tell her I make mistakes and try my best. We have a wonderful relationship, it is rare for her to act up. I don't know what kind of person she is going to become but hopefully by staying home with her she will appreciate it as much as I do. I thank my husband for working so hard so that we can live this way, I am glad he likes his job and glad that I like mine. I never would have thought that I would be a stay at home mom. It goes to show you just how crazy life can be.