Saturday, April 30, 2011

Back at it?

March 15th

4 Days late, decide to buy an $8.00 test from Albertson's. A lot to spend on a test but I was already there. Not expecting anything but at least knowing will stop the what ifs,

March 16th

7:00 AM: Now I am 5 days late so I decide to get up and test before Summer wakes. I am surprised she is even still asleep /shrug. I go into bathroom, grab the $8 test kit from bathroom closet, try to keep the cat off my lap while I try to pee correctly on the little stick. Before I even finish peeing I start to see the + sign appear. I thought these tests could take up to 2 minutes.

7:02 AM: Sitting on the toilet in shock. Over 2 years of trying and it is positive? What the heck am I going to do now.

7:03 AM: Freak out a little. Wonder who I should tell. Should I tell my husband, should I try to keep it a secret from him a bit longer. Will he even believe me because we have been here before, of course that test was very faint. I decide to take a picture of the test on my iphone and send it to him in a text.

7:05 AM: Send him a crappy picture with the following "Ummm this was positive immediately. I guess I am day 33 today." He replies with " ....." followed by "Noway". I text back "I'm in a bit of a shock"

7:06 AM: He calls and we talk for about 5 minutes. We decide not to tell anyone given my background.


In 1997 after being on birth control pills for 10 years I stop taking them and get pregnant immediately. I find out I am pregnant on my 21st birthday. A day or two later I start spotting, so I go to the hospital. Ultrasound does not show a baby and assumes I miscarried. I think I am 4 or 5 weeks, really early anyway. I am only 21 and it does not upset me. Miscarriages are normal, says the doctor, they happen all the time.

In 2004 after convincing Kris that I really want a baby, he finally gives in, we try, I get pregnant the first month. Things are going as planned until I go in for my 11 week appointment. They cannot find a heartbeat and the ultrasound is still. The baby apparently quit growing around 8 weeks. I decide to wait it out and miscarry naturally. A week later major cramping and a ton of blood. The following week more cramping and bleeding leads me to the hospital where I end up having to have a D&C suction for an incomplete miscarriage. All the blood is a bit traumatic.

In 2005 we decide to try again and again get pregnant the first month we try. At around 5-6 weeks I start bleeding. To the hospital I go, finding no heartbeat so I immediately schedule a D&C, not wanting to go through a miscarriage and seeing all the blood again. As I am in the hospital completing the paperwork for a D&C I start cramping. I go into the bathroom and miscarry right there and freak out. Luckily the doctor was nice enough to assist and make sure it completed. I do not end up needing a D&C.

In 2005 after three miscarriages I decide to see a fertility specialist. All test are completely normal, doctor tells me to get pregnant again and see what happens. After several months we don't get pregnant. Clomid should help. Doesn't work. Next step is IVU. I don't want to spend $10000 and have several shots given. No way Kris would be up for that anyway. I leave and figure it just isn't going to happen.

In November 2006 I am on vacation visiting family and realize I am late. I get home and after being almost two weeks late by now I figure I must be pregnant. Blood tests confirmed. This is my fourth pregnancy. I am not hopeful at all but glad I actually got pregnant. I call fertility doctor to ask what I can do to prevent this one to miscarry, he says nothing. I ask OB doctor what I can take, again the answer is nothing. Nothing obvious is causing my miscarriages so nothing can be done to prevent them.

December 2006 I am extremely sick. By 9 weeks I am in the hospital getting IV fluids for severe dehydration. I feel like I am going to die. I have lost 10 pounds in 1 month. I ask if I can get an abortion because I am worried I am going to lose my job. The military does not do abortions and tells me the sickness will eventually pass.

The all day and night morning sickness passes in January 2007 after 6 weeks of misery. I missed most of December, Christmas, New Years. I depleted my vacation and sick time at work. But I am alive!

Smooth sailing through June 2007. Then I find out baby is breach and I am starting to get high blood pressure. Bi-Weekly monitoring. 1 Failed attempt to turn baby. C-Section is eminent. C-Section is scheduled for 7/24, the day before my due date, but they planned to attempt another turn and induce. It didn't matter because on 7/13 I woke up and my water broke. Rush to the hospital because I know she is still breach. Find out I have a prolapsed cord, fastest c/s ever! Healthy 7 pound, 11 ounce baby girl is born at 8:11. I blogged about the day here:


March 17th: I have now known for 2 days and some hours. I feel hopeful. My stomach feels really hard and has a lot of pressure but I wonder if it is all in my head or not. I am trying not to become consumed with it but so far I am failing. Here's to hoping the month passes quickly and 8+ weeks comes and goes.

March 25th: I am 6 weeks and I am starting to get sick.

March 31st: I go to the hospital for an annual pap, an appointment I made prior to knowing I was pregnant. They wouldn't do it but put in the request for my blood work to confirm I am pregnant. I told them don't bother calling with the results, I would just wait for a call from the OB clinic.

April 1st: I am 7 weeks and I am really sick.

April 6th: The OB clinic calls to schedule my first appointment. My mom is in town visiting, if you consider watching me lay in bed all day visiting ... My aunt also arrives.

April 8th: I turn 35. I do not get out of bed for long.

April 14th: I see an OB doctor for the first time because I am considered High Risk. I am almost 9 weeks, I see the baby on the ultrasound. My blood pressure is fine. The baby looks bigger than I figured it would. I weigh 131 which is 10 pounds lighter than when I started with Summer, because I haven't gained any weight. I am still not excited yet, anything can happen.

April 30th: I am now 11 weeks and still sick, but honestly it isn't as bad as it was with Summer. I have only thrown up three times. I can eat. I have trouble drinking water and taking my prenatal vitamins. I keep telling myself three more weeks. I miss hanging out with all my friends. I miss going to the gym. I worry about my thighs. I have been reading a ton of books, I read two books in the past two days. Most of the time I don't really think about anything except breathing and trying to stay comfortable. I feel bad about the time spend laying around but then again I don't. I hope it is worth it but I know anything can happen. I have a long way to go. I am not sure when I will feel safe. I have another ultrasound in 10 days, because of the High Risk status. Maybe I should worry about the test coming up but I don't. I can't change anything anyway. I am actually optimistic, I know whatever happens will happen and I will handle it. Whose to say whats best anyway.

So maybe I am back blogging for awhile.