Friday, March 23, 2012

I miss my sleep

A typical night goes a little like this - Pepper goes to sleep around 7:00/7:30 PM. She wakes up for some reason crying at 7:45 PM but generally goes right back to sleep. I go to bed around 9:00 PM. I hopefully fall asleep within the first 30 minutes. Pepper wakes up for a bottle somewhere between 11:00-12:00 AM. She downs all 6 ounces, burps, gets a new diaper, and goes right back to sleep. I try to fall right back to sleep but it can take me anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour. I wish I could fall asleep faster but I tend to think about everything, and honestly, I have some of my best ideas during the middle of the night. Sometimes, often, Pepper wakes up around 2:00 AM, which is way too early for a bottle, so I pop in the good old pacifier. She usually goes right back to sleep but it takes me forever. Kris doesn't really snore but he tends to breath extremely loud, and that doesn't help me either. Around 4:00 or 5:00 AM Pepper is back awake for her second bottle, she normally drinks it all. She gets a new diaper and goes back into her bed. I lay there trying to fall back asleep. Around 5:45 AM she wakes up crying for some reason, I put her in my bed where she falls to sleep immediately for 15 minutes, then wakes, takes the pacifier, falls asleep, wakes, falls asleep, pacifier, sleeps, wakes, etc, until around 6:30-7:00 AM at which time she is awake for the day. My point is - she sucks at sleeping and I suck at falling asleep, which makes me tired often. A few times, like last night, we put her in the car seat to sleep. She sleeps better and so do I, she went to bed at 7:30 PM, woke at 12:30 AM, woke at 4:30 AM, again at 5:30 AM, but I put her in my bed, as she tossed around like she does so I put her back in the car seat at 5:45 AM and she slept until 7:45 AM! I feel like I actually got a good amount of sleep last night but I hate putting her in the car seat. I have read the risks (breathing due to sitting inclined) and I try to put the seat at more of a V angle, so I am just hoping that she grows out of this, well I know she will grow out of it eventually. I think she sleeps better in the car seat because of the comfort of being more confined. In the meantime I am learning how to function on broken sleep with less than 4 hours at a time. I think I am doing ok for the most part but I have my moments, like yesterday. Oh, and let's not forget naps, or the lack of being able to take a nap, because Pepper only takes a 45 minute (ish) nap each time she naps, which is about 4 times a day. By the time it takes me to fall asleep she is already awake. I like to think I am a good mom and I definitely love my baby but I don't like this stage, in fact I hate to say I am ready for her to be 9 months and crawling, rolling, a bit more mobile and independent and hopefully sleeping better. Sometimes I fear she is going to start crying and I am not going to be able to get her to stop, like last night, she was probably overly tired, teething, who knows, and she just starting crying at bedtime and would not stop. I could not hold/comfort her, and she didn't want her pacifier. After about 10 minutes Kris came and got her and walked around with her. She finally fell asleep in his arms - thankfully, and was back to normal this morning.

I can't imagine having babies back to back, I am so lucky that Summer sleeps all night, I can't imagine if I had to deal with her waking up at night too. I remember when I got pregnant thinking to be careful what you wish for because you just might get it and not want it, I wanted Pepper, but I wouldn't mind if she slept a little bit better. Overall she is getting better, easier to take care of. I guess I really don't like the newborn stage as much as I thought, I am more of a toddler kinda mom. Hey, no one is perfect, at least I admit it!

Here are a few photos I took yesterday of the girls!





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